susanshaw784

Lately, my husband and I have been having the same conversation, over and over again. How do we show up as grieving parents in the world? When is it appropriate to be outward-facing with our reality, and when do we leave it at home? I feel strongly that it shouldn’t matter. That it is my choice, always, when and where I talk about—or show—the fact that I am a bereaved mom. I don’t want to worry about making people uncomfortable. I don’t want to shrink my truth to protect someone else’s...

When someone we love loses a child, we often ask the same question: What can I do? Especially if we live far away. Especially if we feel helpless. Especially if casseroles and flowers feel insufficient. Here is one answer that almost no one talks about, but that grieving parents desperately need: Help with the admin. Help with the logistics. Help with the unbearable paperwork that comes after a child dies. When our elderly parents die, we expect there will be accounts to close. Final taxes to...

Nick and I grieve very differently. That sentence feels obvious and yet it keeps teaching me new things, even six years after William died. I have leaned all the way in. I am Bereavement Mom. I say that without irony or apology. It is not the only thing I am, but it is one of the truest things. The single most impactful thing that has ever happened in my life is the death of my son. William’s death rearranged me at a cellular level, and for reasons I still can’t fully explain, I want to stand...