The people we meet along the way: sharing wisdom from Jessica Correnti

Over the years on my journey to becoming more grief informed, I’ve been lucky to meet some truly incredible people. One of them is Jessica Correnti, MS, CCLC of Kids Grief Support. Jessica is a Certified Child Life Specialist and a dedicated advocate for helping children and families navigate grief with clarity, honesty, and compassion.

The other day, she wrote a powerful piece on how to talk to kids about death, something I believe every parent, teacher, and caring adult should read. Her advice is direct, practical, and rooted in both professional expertise and deep empathy.

I knew I needed to share her words with you all. Please take the time to read her thoughtful post below, follow her on social media, and sign up for her newsletter.

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But saying died is too harsh

by Jessica Correnti, MA CCLS

If you are reading this newsletter you have likely heard the recommendation that you should not use euphemisms with children about death.

Maybe you are even someone who has told others, either from a professional lens or as a parent telling others in their circle not to use these words with their children.

Have you ever gotten push back? I know I have…"But saying died is too harsh"…"that will scare them."…"they are so young, I want to protect their innocence."

The truth is, we can do MORE harm when we soften the words death, died, and dying.

We can ADD confusion, pain, anxiety, misconceptions, and fears.

Children, especially younger children need clear, concrete information. Words that do not have any other double meaning or meaning in a different context is ideal.

These are some of the ways I have heard children interpret euphemisms:

Lost: their loved one is lost, so we need to go find them.

Went Home: they went to another home

Gone: they left (but did not die), they are just not here and the child feels hurt that they were 'abandoned' by this person

Passed away: passed out, they will wake up again in just a bit

Went to sleep forever/resting in peace: these caused a ton of fears about sleep for the grieving child. What if I go to sleep and never wake up again?

Gone to a better place: was here not good enough? What could I have done better?

Lost their battle: why didn't they fight harder?

No longer with us: well where are they? why are they not here? what did I do?

So the next time you get push back from a family member, friend, patient, client, or anyone who has the best intentions, but a lack of education about child development and/or grief support for children remind them that when we use language that softens death we are not protecting them. We are potentially adding to the stress by leaving room for confusion and fears.

Death, Died, and Dying are not dirty words. Are they hard to say sometimes? Absolutely, but when children are first learning about death, they deserve honest, clear words that are not confusing.

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Thank you, Jessica, for your words, your insight, and your expertise in the field. We are working to build a more grief-literate culture—one story at a time.

Jessica and Susie at the National Alliance for Children' s Grief Symposium in 2025