Why We Must Support Grieving Kids

susanshaw784
Jun 12
3 min read

By Susan Shaw

As a bereaved mom, I know firsthand how grief can unravel everything you thought you knew about life. I also know how easy it is for grieving children to be overlooked.

If we don’t care for our grieving kids, we’re setting them up for a lifetime of silent struggle. Mental health challenges. Academic setbacks. Behavioral issues. Even early death. The 2025 Childhood Bereavement Estimation Model (CBEM) reports that over 6.4 million children, or 1 in 11 in the U.S., will lose a parent or sibling by age 18.

And yet, so many of them are expected to "bounce back."

“Unaddressed childhood grief and trauma can lead to short- and long-term difficulties including poor academic performance, mental health issues, and early mortality." CBEM, Judi’s House

Grief That Has Nowhere to Go

In many communities, especially those already carrying the weight of injustice, kids learn quickly to keep their feelings to themselves. But grief doesn’t go away just because it’s ignored. It shows up later, in anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or anger.

We ask, “Why aren’t these branches bearing fruit?” But we forget to look at the roots, at the grief that’s never been named, the trauma passed silently from one generation to the next.

I think often about the kids who end up in systems that punish them instead of asking, What happened to you? Many of them have suffered early losses that no one ever acknowledged. Their pain has nowhere to land.

What if Nobody Ever Asks?

Sometimes children don’t talk about their grief, simply because no one asks. They don’t know where to put the memories, or the tears, or the questions that keep them up at night.

I see this in my own family. Both of my living sons talk about their big brother William all the time. They remember him. They miss him. They share their sadness openly, and I’m grateful they feel safe enough to do that.

But so many kids don’t have that kind of space. That’s why we created The Green House.

The Green House: A Place to Rest and Remember

The Green House is not a clinical center or a program. It’s not therapy. It’s a peaceful retreat home where one grieving family at a time can come for a week to rest, reflect, and simply be together.

It’s a place for the tears, the laughter, the hard conversations, and the quiet moments. A place to fall apart without needing to explain. A place where kids and their caregivers can reconnect after profound loss while carrying their grief.

It’s just one piece of the larger puzzle. We hope families who stay at The Green House will also connect with peer support, school programs, or therapy. But this home is our way of saying, You are not invisible. You are not alone. You are loved.

Let’s Stop Pretending Kids Just “Bounce Back”

People love to say, “Kids are resilient.” But I’ve learned that resilience isn’t automatic. It’s built. It’s nurtured. And it requires safety, connection, and time.

Grief doesn’t break children. What breaks them is being left alone in it.

How You Can Help

We’re working to raise $2 million to build The Green House and offer stays free of charge to grieving families. We've already raised over $330,000, and we’re not stopping.

If this vision moves you, here’s how to help:

Donate to bring The Green House to life
Share this message with your community
Invite us to speak or partner with your school, workplace, or group
Sponsor or host a gathering to raise awareness

Visit www.wbycgiving.org to donate or get involved.

Let’s build a world where grieving kids are supported, not sidelined. Let’s give them what they need: to be seen, to be held, and to find their way forward, on their own timeline, from people who understand.